What 1 Thing You Must Absolutely Believe In

The Better Man Project ™

motivational quote, life quotes, happy quotes, inspiration, magic, success

Yourself.

You must absolutely believe in yourself to achieve your dreams. Because if you don’t think you can do it, well, it will simply never happen. Life is going to continue on with or without you. You might as well start believing that you are capable of amazing things.

I have battled many times against not believing in myself. In fact, I would say singlehandedly that the greatest enemy of my goals and dreams is myself. You could compile as many inspirational quotes as you want. You could read on how to be the best man you could be. You can study the most famous people in the world…but if you don’t have it inside you will never even make a dent. You will burn out and recede back into the darkness.

The key to success can be found within yourself. Yes there are others who you can learn from…however…

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Huffington Post: ‘What I Be’ Project Reveals People’s Darkest Insecurities In Stunning Photos

So, this blog has kind of been on the slow down. Sadly, from what I’ve seen is we’ve all started doing things differently. Personally, I’m not one to always talk about myself (as lovely as it is sometimes), but after a while life stories start getting too personal. Or we run out of Disney-style endings to tell others about.

Source: Tumblr

But here’s a great article from the Huffington Post that thanks to photographer Steve Rosenfield who asked a broad range of people to fill out a ballot. To sum up: “What doesn’t define you?”. He then took several of his subjects and inked them up and took a picture of them.

After reading the article I also wound up browsing the comments, cause I do that, and learned a new word!

Ebonics. Although from what I understand this isn’t exactly an Oxford word.

I’ll follow through with a question to the fair readers of our tiny blog:

Would you be willing to have a picture taken of you with your deepest, darkest insecurities or secrets?

It’s an interesting idea, first of all it’s figuring out what doesn’t define you.
What happened that you won’t allow to rule the way you live your life?
It’s also the fact are you being honest with yourself?
That’s probably the biggest question. Will you allow your past to define your present and future?

Think about it peeps! And (maybe) comment below. You don’t have to tell us about your greatest fears, but will you let your past define you?

Krys

On The Beauty Of Women

The Better Man Project ™

Before I start this, I want to make something clear. This post is not coming from a man who has had an easy time his whole life with women. In fact, I have had my heart broken more times than I care to admit. I have shed tears, been betrayed in the worst of ways and have been made to feel unimportant, almost to the point where I thought I didn’t exist. And even through all of this, I can still put my heart on the line for women because I believe in one fundamental reality.

Women are beautiful.

Last night, one of my best friends sent me an article and asked for my thoughts. So I opened it up and read the first line. “I’m just gonna come out and say it: I love insecure women.” I closed my eyes, took a deep breath and continued reading on for…

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Blog 11: Happiness

Before publishing her book in 2009, Gretchen Rubin started a blog/website both of which shared the same title: The Happiness Project.

Rubin’s Happiness Project started a little bit after she was in the final stages of writing one her other books – I think it was a Winston Churchill piece. Either way, she came across a well-known person’s list of twelve commandments which outlined how they intended on living a happier life. This sparked a great idea in Gretchen’s mind; for one year she experimented and created her own “happiness project” thus resulting in the sharing with thousands of followers she acquired through her journey, a website where she posted regularly her thoughts and emotions and the things she has learned along the way to a happier life.

In the month of December 2012, I was reading this book for shear recreation. The fact that I had been selling several copies at the bookstore I was working for at the time was definitely a good convincer that I should definitely read that book soon. I was also hoping to get a little insight on what people might be doing differently that I could possibly learn from in order to gain a greater sense of happiness in my own life.

Did I learn anything? Absolutely. I learned that I was nowhere near as successful in many aspects of my life like Rubin’s. Something else I learned was that there were a lot of things that I acknowledged I never do but should really start.

  1. Be Gretchen

  2. Let it go

  3. Act the way I want to feel

  4. Do it now

  5. Be polite and be fair

  6. Enjoy the process

  7. Spend out

  8. Identify the problem

  9. Lighten up

  10. Do what ought to be done

  11. No calculation

  12. There is only love

As you’ve just read, these were the 12 Commandments Rubin shared in her book, and obviously we can’t all take away the same points to our own project but personally I can take away at least 7 points for myself.

1. Be Krys

Be me. It sounds easy enough but a lot of people have lost touch with themselves. A few years ago I had forgotten who I was because I was so preoccupied being part of somebody else’s plan that I forgot what my plans were, what I liked, or how I would react to situations. I had numbed myself from reality, but I soon realized I needed to break free of that little cage I put myself in. Now, I feel like I’ve slowly been starting from scratch, setting ground rules, standing my ground and trying to be myself again.

3. Act the Way I Want to Feel

I have been such a bottled up person, I realized that I was extremely fearful of things. Nervous. Cautious. Skeptical. Particularly when it came to pain. I used to be such a tough cookie. Growing up around a bunch of boys I learned that you better have a damn good reason to cry. Nowadays, I seem to have done a one-eighty and cry over just about anything.. okay, so I’m still learning the happy medium between never crying and crying all the time, it’s a learning curve and it’s all about controlling your emotions only to a certain extent.

9. Lighten Up

I’m a tight-ass. I admit it. I’m very particular to the point that I can be quite moody if I don’t get my way or something gets set up improperly. I suppose at this point I can say that #6 (Enjoy the Process) should be included in this section as sometimes I can get quite bitter over the fact that things aren’t going smoothly. It’s about being at ease. Relax. Enjoy it. Laugh. Smile. Or just nod your head to make things not blow up mid-process.

12. There is Only Love

This is another point that is taking time to figure out. This past year I’ve been learning quite a bit about this word: love. It’s a difficult emotion and there are so many ways of expressing it! I’ve only learned a small handful and I’m sure I have a bazillion other love ways to learn today, tomorrow and years from now.

These are only a few of the points from the list that I can personally take away. Life lessons. Emotions. Personal encounters that change your life forever. We all have a story that has made us rethink our situation and possibly have made us change something about us and we’ve wound up being much happier or just content and feel less burdened by something we thought was worth burdening over.

I’m not name dropping and promoting that you go out and by Gretchen Rubin’s book, but I can definitely say that if you’re looking for a good starting point at least check out her website. She has great amount of available resources to help you develop your own happiness (if you aren’t already). I cannot claim that I have been the happiest I’ve ever been, I’m not. I’m still content. It’s probably because of books like Rubin’s that has helped me realize that there were things in my life that needed to be shifted. Baby steps.

Are you happy? What makes you happiest? Have you ever had to give up something that made you happy? What’s your story?

“One of the best ways to make yourself happy is to make other people happy. One of the best ways to make other people happy is to be happy yourself.”

– Gretchen Rubin, The Happiness Project

Krys

Blog 3: It Completes Me

In 2009 I took the giant leap into personal body mods. Although, after my 18th birthday I got my tongue pierced, I had then told myself it’d be the last piercing I would get since all others just looked gaudy and unprofessional (in my eyes, on me) that once removed they would leave nothing but tasteless appeal in the sense of holes in weird places. However, that didn’t quite hinder my perception on tattoos to which I was very keen on getting. After months of deliberation and a few random questionnaires online through various forums, I finally decided I would get a quote of some sort.

Obviously this quote had to have meaning, but I needed something short that would fit on my wrist. Going back to my forums and asking people for words or phrases or even images that would best describe a theme of freedom. Some said bird – to which I thought of the swallow, I’m not much of a sailor, so that was a no-go -, other terms came about and some even suggested just wings, but none were fitting the bill. That’s when I coined my own phrase: Can’t clip my wings!

I threw this idea out to my “focus groups” (illegitimate) and diverse opinions came about, from “Why would you do that?” to “What does that even mean?” along with thrown in suggestions like adding “you” to the beginning of the phrase. I considered it, but then realized that this would single people out (this wasn’t what I wanted). I wanted to not only let people know that they are already warned that they can’t stop me from being me, but also to remind myself that I can’t/shouldn’t let others stop me of get in my way.

Sorry for the blurry image

There after, I was pleased and excited that I had my tattoo in mind and a font in thought out that when I walked into a local, well-known tattoo/piercing salon I was able to make an appointment for the same day and be in and out within an hour.  Once it was done I was thrilled, and when I finally got the protective layer of fluorescent pink tape and gauze I took a picture and posted it online to some of my most frequented forums and got some nasty, un-enthused reactions: “What’s your tattoo say?, although they seem confused of its meaning I don’t care; if it means I have to explain it a million times in my life, so be it! It’s there because that’s what I wanted and it makes me feel a little more complete and isn’t that what we generally strive for as we grow and try to find ourselves?

Krys